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ssltech

Aqua Marine

Posts: 4,058 Member Since:22/01/2011

#302 [url]

Apr 8 17 7:36 PM

michael griffin wrote:
C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors."

-He actually said "We don't serve Minors!"

...So the Eb left, and the other two split a fifth between them.

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michael griffin

Gold Finger

Posts: 302 Member Since:05/02/2011

#303 [url]

Apr 8 17 8:13 PM

ssltech wrote:

michael griffin wrote:
C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors."

-He actually said "We don't serve Minors!"

...So the Eb left, and the other two split a fifth between them.


Major improvement!. Strikes just the right key now. Thanks!
 

Last Edited By: michael griffin Apr 8 17 8:40 PM. Edited 1 time.

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tb av

Platinum Blonde

Posts: 1,155 Member Since:24/04/2011

#304 [url]

Apr 18 17 8:08 PM

So did you hear about the midget psychic that killed his customer?

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.He's a small medium at large.

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hallams

Platinum Blonde

Posts: 1,620 Member Since:26/01/2011

#306 [url]

May 8 17 3:34 AM

tb av wrote:
So did you hear about the midget psychic that killed his customer?

.
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.He's a small medium at large.
 

Reminds me of a few lines i had when in the play Blithe Spirit that featured the medium and clairvoyant Madam Arcati:
She was a medium rare in a world where the stakes are high!

Hallamsound Productions.

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has2

Platinum Blonde

Posts: 1,452 Member Since:17/05/2012

#308 [url]

Jun 1 17 11:54 AM

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and she was upset.
'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
  
The husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute, love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'
 
'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. 
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. 
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. 
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste. 
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.' 
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said .............. 
'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?

Last Edited By: has2 Jun 1 17 12:00 PM. Edited 1 time.

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