my joke's mildly dirty. scroll if you are easily offended.
So this young piano player moves to New York. Like they do. We'll call him 'the kid'.
His second day there, he hits the streets looking for work. After awhile, he sees an old guy lifting up the ghetto grates on the front of a club. The kid approaches the old guy and says "Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, but I was just wondering if you might be looking for a piano player at all?"
The old guy looks him up and down and replies "Well kid, actually, you're in luck. My regular guy just took one of them cruise ship gigs and is gonna be gone for three months. Why don't you come in and we'll see what you've got."
So they go in, the old guy flips on the lights, motions towards the piano and sits down at a table. The kid goes over to the piano, takes off his coat and sits down. The old guy says "Go ahead, don't be shy, play me something nice."
The kid starts to play. The old guy nearly swallows his cigar. He can't believe it. It's by far the most beautiful playing he's ever heard in his life. By the end he's biting his lip to keep from crying. Really. The kid's that good.
The kid finishes and looks up shyly. The old guy says "Kid! Jesus Christ! That was incredible! What was that you were playing?"
"oh, well, that was just one of mine."
"You WROTE that? God damn. What's the name of the tune, kid?"
"uh, well, that one's called 'I Wanna Grab You By The Ears And Fuck You In The Mouth'."
The old guy spits out his drink laughing. "Jesus, kid, that's a helluva title!" He goes over and puts a glass of bourbon on the piano and says "Go on, let's hear some more, play me another one."
So the kid starts to play again, and now the old guy is practically having a heart attack, because this tune is so good it makes the first one sound like scraps off the cutting room floor.
By this time, the waitstaff and bartenders have starting coming in, and they're all standing around looking somewhat dazed, completely mesmerized by the kid's playing.
He finishes the song and gets a big round of applause from the staff, which he shyly acknowledges. The old guy's voice booms out:
"Jesus H Christ on a crutch, I've had every goddamn famous piano player you can name sit at that piano over the years, and I ain't never heard no one play it like that. Was that one of your tunes too?"
"I'm afraid to ask, but what's the name of that one?"
"uh, that one's called 'I Wanna Grab You By The Tits And Fuck You In The Ass'."
The whole staff bursts out laughing. The old guy says "You sure got a way with a title kid. Alright, listen: you got the gig. Your first set is at 10, don't be late, wear something nice, and do me a favor huh? I'm tryina run a classy joint here, wouldya mind keeping those song titles under your hat?"
The kid says no problem and thanks the club owner profusely.
By 10 o'clock, word has gotten out about the new phenom in town and there's a line around the block. The kid plays his first set to rapturous applause, and when he finishes he gets a standing ovation. Blushing, he says "Thank you all so very much. This is my first gig here in New York, and it really means a lot to me to get this sort of reception. I'm just going to take a real short break and then I'll be back for a whole 'nother set. Thank you."
He's dying to take a piss so he quickly ducks into the restroom. When he emerges, he's greeted by an extremely attractive woman. She looks him right in the eyes and says "I just wanted to tell you that your playing is incredibly beautiful. It really spoke to me on a deep emotional level."
The kid says "well, gee, wow...i...uh...thanks!"
Her eyes darting around nervously, the woman says "So...um, I'm not really sure how to say this, but do you know your fly's undone and your cock is hanging out?
The kid smiles and says "Know it? Lady, I WROTE IT!"