First off, I like the song!
Some ideas -
-The high G note of the octave guitar part in the intro sounds a little flat to me. This is one of the biggest spell breakers for me.
-When more instruments "kick in" around :49, I'd try to make sure they all hit on the "1 beat" evenly. This is second biggest spell breaker for me.
-When the riff comes back around 1:11, I might try to get a better lock between the rhythm guitar and the kick drum, possibly changing that pattern. Where the octave riff hits two low notes, then a high note, I would see if it grooves a little better by changing the kick so that it hits where those low notes fall in the guitar riff. Now it goes "boom bap boom boom"… maybe something more like "boom boom bap boom boom". Or just tightening up the pocket between guitar riff and drums in that place might be enough.
-I'm not a big reverb guy, I'd probably go with less reverb on those tight strums in the verse parts, maybe none… maybe going towards more reverb in the solo part or choruses.
-When you have the breakdown with acoustic, and there is a vocal in the center, it then shifts to two (or more) vocals hard panned l/r. To me, it sounds like it might transition better if that vocal in the center kept on, on the line where there are the two hard panned vocals before things kick back in. Maybe along with the two panned vocals. That may not be how to "solve it"… for me, the problem is just that it seems jarring. Maybe just something to finesse that transition somehow.
-The countermelody at the end - the "I cannot see you, let's walk away"… maybe try to get that a bit more in the pocket, as well as watch out on the pitch of "you" and "away". It is maybe louder than needed too? I think it's that my ear isn't sure what's supposed to be paying attention to - that line or the other melody line. Maybe you could bring one group down, and then swap which one is dominant after a repetition or two.
There are just my opinions, and maybe I'd think differently if I heard it some other time. I listened to the "fin5" version.