I've given this a lot of thought, 14 years now. I live with suicide everyday and the thought of committing suicide everyday, multiple times a day. It's part of the aftermath I was talking about.
I can reason and understand why my dad committed suicide but it was the most selfish act he ever did. It relieved his demons in one second and gave me ones that would haunt me and my family members the rest of out lives. I love my father more than anything, I also now hate him as much. Just living with that is torture enough. Torture!
Suicide is the most cruel act you could ever to do the people you love. This is what keeps me alive. I need to think about my loved ones and what it would do to them when these thoughts come flooding in. No self worth, no hope, no joy, no faith, no future... these are what run though your head. All this damaged cause by one selfish act.
Think that I'm selfish, well I'm not... everyday I fight not to be selfish.
Words hurt, choose them wisely. I'll be giving your words thought when the demons come a calling later today and I expect, the rest of my life.
God fucking bless us everyone!